Heavy Metal Fotball (Metal Band-ter)

The Guardian har noen suverene minutt-for-minutt referater fra fotballkamper. Iblant kan det faktisk være mer underholdende å lese de spydige kommentarene (både Guardians skribenter og fra folk som sender inn kommentarer) enn å se selve kampen. Spesielt bra blir det når de hiver inn musikk- eller filmreferanser, som når de sammenlikner Liverpool med ymse metalband:

"(...) if Liverpool were a metal band, they would be Black Sabbath," wah-wahs Joe Pearson. "Sabbath were a dominant force in days gone by, but they haven't done much lately, and the band leader often appears to be the victim of muddled thinking. Although Liverpool haven't appeared in a World of Warcraft ad, as far as I know. I'll leave it to other MBM readers to figure who Everton are. Motorhead? Both lead by a truly scary-looking guy?" I'm going to have to contradict you and say that Sabbath would be Villa, simply because that's what they would want, and what Sabbath want, they get. Liverpool could be Metallica instead, what with them currently being closer to recapturing former glories than they have been for years. Everton are Testament, always tantalisingly close to the big four.

Og siden vender de tilbake og kryssrefererer metalreferansene under kampen, som her:

91 mins: Baines cut down the left and plays a lovely ball across the face of goal but Carragher cleverly ensures Cahill can't connect with it. "This match is best summarized by the first line of Metallica's 'Sanitarium'," whistles Pranjal Tiwari. "Welcome to where time stands still." Yes. No one leaves, and no one will.

Resten av kampreferatet fra Everton-Liverpool. Aldeles herlig skandaløst er det forresten at tv-kanalen ITV, som overførte kampen på fjernsyn i UK, klarte å kutte til reklame akkurat da Everton scoret kampens eneste mål. Fabuløst!